Life in the CPH: The Texpat's Answer to Protectionism (Part Possibly-I)

In the interest of refuting recent claims of protectionism in the current stimulus bill passing through the U.S. Senate, and also because I'm procrastinating from doing the two things I should be doing (working on Chapter 6 of F.C. and writing weblogs for G.C.), and trying to distract myself from what I really want to do (eat the entire pyrex container full of queso in my fridge with my fingers), here are ten reasons why American expats like myself are contributing to the global economy by living in Denmark and paying $10+ for a beer. Alright, it's not exactly related to protectionism. So sue me.

Ten Reasons Why I Contribute to the Global Economy by Living in Denmark and Paying $10+ For a Beer

10. Glorious, glorious dairy products.

9. One year of maternity leave. That's right. One year, people.

8. Because I just found out Peyton Manning is married. Also, because the Oilers are now the Titans and live in Tennessee, and yes, I'm still holding on to it.

7. Best excuse ever to sleep in: it doesn't even get light until after 9 a.m. for two months of the year.

6. Public transportation. I haven't sat in traffic or searched for a parking place in over eight months. Really.

5. Because Denmark is home to the biggest beer collection in the world, over 18,000 bottles.

Did I mention they're unopened?

5a. On a related topic, because the Danes have their priorities in line when it comes to such things - like, you know, beer, and also balancing family and work time. Not that I'm down with the taxes, but you smell what I'm stepping in.

4. Because if I'm ever bored, I just go to the gym. I don't even have to work out; the people watching is that good. Actually, I don't even have to go to the gym. Looking out the window works, too.

4.1. On another related topic, because fashion here is AWESOME and RIDICULOUS and AWESOMELY RIDICULOUS. Take, for example, Superman:

Neither bird nor plane. You see my point.

3. Specialty beer made just for holidays. The U.S. is the largest consumer-driven marketplace in the world. How did we miss this?

2. Because women here have universal, absolute self-confidence (see: 4.1.).

1. Babies, cuddled up in little starfish snowsuits with only their noses peeking out. Babies, walking through the park holding hands, herded along by their day care teachers. Babies, climbing on the bus like little adults and smiling with their teensy rosy cheeks. How could you not love a place so in love with kids? And so safe for them, too?

So there you have it. Never call me close-minded or protectionist or whatnot again. Not that any of you did, but I'm just saying, yo. Smooches.